9.30am, hammock at Kava Camp ....a weird night

Anthony and I went for beers at the local restaurant, a big room with a bar, pool table and television, a kitchen bar and plastic tables and chairs. There were several boys playing pool and a soccer game on the television. I struggled to make conversation with Anthony, asking about small town life. When I asked where all the girls were (ther were only boys in the bar besides me) he said they were playing football.

After our drinks, we went down to the beach, where Anthony produced a blanket out of his little duffle bag. He proceeded to kiss and touch me. He kept trying to get me to go farther than I wanted. I had to keep saying no and pull his hands away. The experience was very juvenile. I felt silly and a little bored. He kept asking me why I wouldn't have sex with him, so finally I said a few things.

1. Just because you want to have sex witha girl doesn't mean she wants to have sex with you. These are often mutually exclusive desires.

2. That I don't, probably most women don't, want to fuck strangers.

3. Then I told him he was lucky it was me he was trying this shit on with. A different sort of woman would have him fired. I told him that in countries like Australia and the USA sexual harrassment is a big deal and women are urged to complain. I also asked him if he understood that in a situation such as ours, where he is the tour guide of a sole woman, she may not feel comfortable or able to say no.

He seemed to understand all this and murmered about this being his job. I think I made him cry. After I gave him a kiss and thanked him for the nice day (I felt bad, how spineless) I finally got up to leave. He wanted us to sleep on the beach. I said no. Then he asked if he could sleep in my room, on one of the other beds. I asked him if this worked on other women but he insisted this is the first ime he tried. He was sniffling on the way home.

I said he could come to my room. I wondered if there was a reason he didn't want to go home. He seemed so desperate when he asked. He still tried to get me to have sex with him. I told him I was going to throw him out and he finally gave up. I think we both had trouble sleeping. I was really hot and getting bitten by mosquitos. Anthony left early in the morning.

This morning he didn't eat with me.

I do realise how crazy I sound. But Anthony was essentially harmless. There was something quite sweet and honest about him. There was nothing violent or aggressive ever suggested. Just wheedling persistence. I never for a moment thought I was in any danger with him. He was just...a boy. [I'd be curious to hear other women's responses to this type of experience. What did you do? Feel free to leave a comment.]

Now, I am waiting for today's group of tourists to arrive. I woke up with a swollen eye, though it is already better. I try not to touch any itches on my face. Breakfast this morning was a thin fried egg, three more slices of oily orange cheese and three small pancakes. I buttered them and added a bit of guava marmalade. Best of all was the jug of watermelon juice set beside me, which I didn't notice until I finished my meal. I'm looking forward to a lovely day viewing the world's tallest waterfall without a touchy guide trying to kiss me (another young man is taking us to the waterfall)!