May 16 continues to continue

While walking around Miraflores with Marya, the beautiful Isreali, I told her all my neuroses, anxieties, fears, concerns. About money; about feeling safe (uuuh, how tasty is salt? Especially on avocado.); about wanting to be competent. I dont even know her! How pathetic I must seem (I am only a little bit pathetic, in very certain ways, but you wouldnt know that from the way I talk), though I think she was impressed that I am travelling alone. She is travelling with two boys and they speak Spanish. She has been to Laos and Thailand, has lived all of her life on a kibbutz and will have to go back to the army when she is done with her travels. I let her know I was Jewish when I said my neuroses was genetically inherited. I always have to tellJewish people I meet that I am Jewish too. Why?

We approached political topics carefully. I asked her about national service, about harrassment and gender issues. She saidthe service matures people and brings them a unique and vital sameness of experience. When I asked if she found Peruvians to be very friendly she said yes but that not everyone likes Israelis and, though she understands Israel has done some not nice things... It shouldnt affect individuals, I finished. I talked about expecting to experience the same as an American in Venezuela but that I kind of find those feelings fair enough.

I must come back from this trip keeping my mouth shut about my anxieties. They need to go back to pre-30-years-old levels. Even if they don't, I need to keep them to myself. I must relax!

Right now I feel good. I emailed and blogged for a long time, interrupted by talking to a graphic designer from Denmark who is backpacking for4 months after having taken tours in previous years. She says Amsterdam is dangerous, anything can happen to you anywhere. She was held up in Amsterdam.

Maybe I need to blather and write in order to feel better. To unload my anxieties so they are honoured and discarded in communication.